你，你，你

两个月了。

两个月了我才UPDATE我这个就来在这里闷死的部落格。

这两个月来，我很痛苦很痛苦很痛苦很痛苦。

但是我似乎没有要让别人分享的感觉。

我闷着我自己。我不让别人知道。我不让别人有取笑我的机会。

我继续过一样的生活，我继续过那种生不如死的生活。

到现在，我写这一篇不是为了要怨，不是要投诉，不是要告诉全世界我的痛苦。

写这一篇，是想奉劝自己，过去就是过去。

就算心里有几不甘，几不愿，但是还是需要忘记所有不好的，继续前往2011年。

或许是报应。

我知道是报应。

我知道现在的我，就是当初的你。

对你，我有无比的愧疚。我真的很愧疚。

我问你有没有想我，我有多期望你告诉你没有。

但是事实就是事实，没人可以改变。

至于另一个你。

我知道，你一直要我放下。

放下我所有看到听到知道的东西。

要我终于有觉可以睡，要我开开心心继续过我们的生活。

放心，我不是说我不能。

但是要立刻我做不到。

或许还是那一句吧，时间能冲淡这一切。

还有你。

或许你更本就不会读这一篇。

就算让你读，你也只会几个字。

但是我还是坚持要让你知道。

你，让我最痛苦的人。

我知道，你一直在怨，为什么就是对你那么不公平。

但是来说，我这两个月的痛苦，不已经是对你最大的公平吗？

或说，这整年来，我什么都没说，在你面前扮得若无其事的，难道不对你公平吗？

我只希望，你，把一些公平还回给我。把是我的，还回给我。

2010年，一个我不想想的年。

最痛苦的一年。

最心痛的一年。

最不开心的一年。

最不健康的一年。

2011年，我希望你快点到。

让我从新开始我们的生活。

让我赶快把2010年的衰事丢弃。

That night in Putrajaya

R.I.P Bryan Chiel Yee Hao

I can't describe my mood and feeling this couple of days.

All I see in Facebook is news about you, that you went to a far far away place.

Bryan, we were not close, but you consider me as your friend.

You said hi to me whenever you see me in school.

You were a brilliant learner when we were in the english debate team together.

Although in the end I quit the team no long after, and we did not talk for ages, you still considered me as your friend.

I can't believe form 4 was the last time I ever get to see you again.

Bryan, justice will soon show it's power.

Giving you the right explanation will be our top priority now.

Bryan, rest in peace.

We miss you.

Port Dickson + Melaka

Well, I was hoping Ken would be the first one to blog about our Port Dickson cum Melaka trip, but guess I was wrong. And I can't resist myself from blogging about it because it's just so awesome!

Errrrr, where should be start?

Oh yeaaaa. The morning we started our journey.

We were to meet at Christy's house, before leaving for breakfast.

We had breakfast at a mamak-like store, near Christy's house.

Then we started our journey!

The journey to PD was fun!

I had Ken talking SO MUCH to me! But soon I found out that its a annoying thing, cos he talks to much.

Seriously too much.

The GPS that took us to PD and Melaka!

Soon enough we were crossing the border of Negeri Sembilan!

And Port Dickson is just 28km away!

But still we had to endure the long long long long long long long long long highways!

Finally we are in Port Dickson!

It was only 12 in the afternoon, and the check-in time for the hotel is 3pm.

So I had to check with the counter if there was rooms available for us at that time.

And they said yes! Which means we had 3 hours extra!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

We had a buggy that took us to our room.

And once at our room, the Photographers started their job.

Introducing Photographer No.1 : Ken

Introducing Photographer No.2 : Jonathan

And of course, Photographer No.3 is : Your's truly. Hehe.

Look at the photographers hard at work!

Oppppps! That's them hard at play!

In case you wanna know, we stayed at the Legend International Water Homes, which has 2 king size beds and a personal pool in your very own room!

You can basically take off your shirts and jump straight into the pool!

(That's what they did. LOL)

After the swim session, which is a few hours, we were hungry.

So we called for the buggy again. Hehehe.

Me and Christy on the buggy.

Our lunch was Secret Recipe. LOL

Ken

Jonathan.

After our lunch, we decided to visit this Light House located in PD which we found on the GPS. LOL.

A closer look.

Christy.

We climbed all the way up and this is what we saw!

Due to the over-population of the mosquitoes, we decided to leave for good and head for the beach.

But too bad we did not get to see the sun set because of the freakin' clouds. Ishhhhhh.

We had to head back to the hotel to get a better view, but still we did not get to see the sunset. Hmmmmmmmm.

Ken being a kid.

We did some photography in the compound of the hotel. Pictures can be found in Facebook. Hehe.

The next morning, we planned to wake up at 7am and head to the coffee house for our breakfast but in the end we woke up at 9am and had only one hour to makan our breakfast.

The breakfast was not bad, but the food finishes too fast.

Hungry people all around us.

LOL.

At about 11.30am, we pack up all our stuff and left our beautiful room and left for Melaka!

It was such a scene because Jonathan cried and cried and said he did not wanna leave!

LOL. I was just joking.

With Jonathan's expect driving, in no time we were in Melaka!

We met up with YongHong at Mahkota Parade and he took us to the apartment he rented for us for our 1 night stay in Melaka.

After putting down our stuff and luggage, YongHong took us to Jonker's Street to have lunch and of course Cendol!

After our lunch, we decided to go to the Butterfly Park in Melaka.

Ken acting like a kid again.

Oh ya, that's Ken too.

Butterfly Park was over, and we headed back to the apartment for some rest.

aka playing Uno cards. LOL

At night, we had SATAY CELUP for dinner!

I had 25 sticks! but I was not the record holder! Ken had 27 sticks!

YongHong and his girlfriend add up only got 28 sticks!

LOL!!!!!

We saved up the address of the satay celup and swear we come back again. Hahaha

The we headed to the FUN FAIR!

We played with some games and we all got a small little soft toy for ourselves.

Jon and Christy got a Tigger, I got a Pooh, and Ken got a monkey in a tiger suit he named Kiki or Rawr or Monki. In the end I had no idea what he named it.

We went on some adrenaline-rushing game! Woooohoooo!

Its even better than the ones in Genting. Hahaha.

In a matter of minutes, it started to rain very heavily and our Fun Fair time was cancelled.

We changed our destination to a K room!

Sang for like 3 hours, all the way to 1am!

Hahahahaha!

The next day we slept until 11am,cos we were just too tired.

After getting ready our luggages, we met up with Dailou and checked out our room.

Next stop was Jonker's Street again.

This time for Chicken Riceball!

We had a plate of chicken, Jon Ken YongHong Me had 10 chicken rice ball!

After chicken rice, we walked down Jonker's Street to get some pineapple tarts.

After walking for a very long time, finally we found a shop that has very the best pineapple tarts we have ever tasted and we even sat down to have Cendol in the very same shop.

Oh ya, not to forget to mention that Christy is a shopaholic, because she can buy anything in any store.

LOL.

Its like each store she walks into, sure something comes out with her. HAHAHAHA!

At about 3pm, we started our journey back to KL and even ajak Carmen out for dinner.

So we get to brag about our trip!

Hahahahahahaha!

Well, it was a definitely fun holiday for me, except the part that I had Ken talking to me and annoyed me all the while I was beside him.

LOL.

Guess that's the end of my holidays and Monday comes Crazy Week!

Meiji Gummy Choco

I got a Meiji Gummy Choco today.

Too bad at the end of the day, it has only one left.

Just to update

Just so you know, this post will be loads and loads of craps since I don't know what I'll be posting and no idea what will be typing on my keyboard the very next second.

This few days are like hell to me.

Somebody's been out of town, spending his/her time in a foreign land.

And left me stranded in Malaysia.

Somebody, next time if you may, bring me along, even if it's squeezing into your luggage and being checked in into the plane's cargo.

I'm so F-ing bored now.

Nothing to do.

Just have to keep logging in into Car Town to checked on my cars.

Mum's hogging the TV with her Korean dramas again.

I find them damn draggy, anyone agree with me?

Am now watching a Taiwanese drama called 痞子英雄.

Yeaaa I know, I'm abit outdated.

But who cares.

LOL

Well, after writing all these craps.

I'm still bored.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Photo Shooting.

Somehow Random.

I know I got nothing to write, but I had to because my hands are itchy.

That's why I need to scratch it.

I went to the Book Fest at KLCC Convention Centre with Carmen.

Well, the point is, I did not buy any books.

Ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And that's the end of my story for today.

Bukit Cahaya, Not-so surprise Party, Sunway Pyramid

Well, bright and sunny day, we decided to go to Bukit Cahaya yesterday.

Day before yesterday, I was frustrated with the GPS that shows nothing but Shah Alam, not even Bukit Cahaya.

Internet was down at home so I can't even check for coordinates on the Internet.

Booooooo. =(

In the end I had to use my cellphone and use up my data charges to get on the Internet.

Well, it turns out that Bukit Cahaya's real name, was actually Taman Pertanian Malaysia, which means Agriculture Park Malaysia in English.

Now my GPS works. Teeheee.

Well, the trip there was hectic enough.

Traffic jams force us to take another way.

Then we lost each other on the way.

Because Ken was driving too slow in his new MYVI SE (Slow Edition).

Jonathan was flying his car all over the place as usual.

If Jonathan were to drive at 60km/h, we would have stopped by the hospital first to get his brain checked.

LOL.

Finally we reached Bukit Cahaya.

First stop was the toilet.

Lemon's idea.

Then we walk to the counter to get our tickets.

Not bad, RM3 per entry.(Excluding the bicycle rental)

We went straight to the bicycle rental counter but it was still not open yet.

Not being racism, but it's common during puasa season laa.

LOL.

But we took the bus ride around the park.

And the bus driver dropped us at this fishing pond and told us we could feed the fishes.

And the first thing that ran into a few or our minds were, oh god, money again. Need to buy bread for the fishes to makan.

Well, we were wrong.

The Pak Cik there provided us with fish food that we could feed the fishes and they were free!

Lots of them!

Two big buckets full!

And we were turned into Professional Fish Feeders (if that's what they are called!) instantly!

Well, not all of us. Jonathan opted to be the fishes' friend, playing with the fishes and scolding them foul words. HAHA!

Of all, feeding the fishes were the best part of the whole trip.

LOL.

As we got on the bus, I somehow wanted to stay there and feed the fishes.

They are so adorable.

But soon they will be food.

As they are Red Tilapia. Fine food for chinese.

Hehe.

Then we visited a place called Taman Cendawan, where there is no mushroom at all.

Ishhhhhhhhhh.

But there's is this viewing tower that I had researched on when I was doing my viewing tower project.

Well, it's dangerously constructed. Everything is not based on Ergonomics. LOL

But the design was not bad, using tree trunks to constructed the supporting beams.

We went up and Ken dropped his Aviators from the very top.

And all of us went :"WOW!!!!"

Then Jonathan and the guys race down the staircase which was scary cos the flight of the staircases was so small you can't even fit Jeannie's leg on it.

Hahaha.

When we reach the very bottom, Ken found his Aviators to be in perfect shape.

HAHAHA.

Cheap stuff last longer huh?

LOL.

Then since the bus was not there for us yet, we went to the exercising equipments and fool with it.

Well, cut short the exercising part, we were already exhausted when we got back to the bicycle rental.

And the first thing we did after getting our bikes were to cycle back to the entrance and get 100plus. LOL.

Well, the bicycle trip was not bad, excluding the part we got lost and I got my hamstring sprained.

It was a up and down track and all of us were exhausted.

And the worst thing was five of us, went deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper.

Without noticing the path we were on was a dead end.

And with my hamstring sprained, we had a pick up truck to come pick us up.

LOL.

well, most of us, consisting of me, Carmen, and Lemon's girlfriend.

Lemon and Ken had to cycle back.

And here, I wanna thanks Ee Wil Ken for backpacking my heavy bag for so long.

Thank you thank you.

All of us were so exhausted we went to Jonathan's house to bathe.

Well, it was part of our surprise.

We had to trick him into bathing so that we could get him and Jeannie a cake.

His house has these awesome sound system and we watch The Ugly Truth.

I did not have the chance to watch the whole movie since me, Carmen and Christy had to go out to one of the cake shops to buy a cake.

Well, the surprise was not that successful since Jonathan already figure it out.

But it was a surprise for Jeannie because she did not expect we would celebrate hers as well.

And so we had our dinner.

Fried Assam Laksa.

First of its kind. Well, definitely a first for me.

Quite tasty.

The food was good.

And it was already closing to 5pm.

We knew if we were to go back to KL at that time, it would be a massive jam.

So instead me and Carmen decided to go to Sunway Pyramid with Lemon and his girlfriend.

We met up and started window shopping.

Well, window shopping for me and Carmen but I guess not for Lemon.

Hehehe.

Then Carmen and Lemon's girlfriend was excited about ice skating so we decided to go have ice skating.

But too bad the rink is closed for classes.

Ishhhhhhh.

Oh well, next time then. =D

We went for some dessert, HoneyMoon.

Took us ages to decide what we want.

LOL.

I had ICE.

WEEEEEEEEEE.

Cooling.

Then it was time to go home, as my dad called and called.

Ishhhhhhhh.

I'm on holiday, can't I just have fun?

Oh well, parents are always like that.

What to do?

Had a blast with my classmates from morning till night!

Best day of the week!

人人跌倒，不见你跌倒？

我知道，这句话听起来怪怪的。

但是我却不想说到“人人死，不见你死”那么绝，就只好换一换，但是我想表达的感觉是相同的，一模一样。

有时候想想，为什么神要对我那么不公平。

好好好，说到这里，我也知道很多人心中一定想跟我说：“你啊，身在福中不知福啊！”。

但是再想想，我遇过的人当中，有哪个没有埋怨过自己的生活？

我又何曾没告诉过他们“身在福中不知福”这一句话呢？

我知道，我一直埋怨也不是解决问题的方法。

但是，你有何曾给过我另一个选择呢？

那我也只好跟随你给我的唯一选择，闭嘴。

就算再气，就算再伤，就算再累，我也只能选择在我那臭脸上勉强挤出微笑，或把手上有的东西捏成不成本样。

本觉得对你们好好的，为什么要拿我开玩笑？

你觉得我不会懂吗？

不要说我夸自己，但是你们的一举一动，你们的一言，你们的一指，都被我看在眼里。

更何况，你们说的玩笑，对我而言，一点都不好笑。

我知道你们在说什么，你们在指什么。

伤心的不是你们说我，伤心的是我知道在你们的玩笑当中，你们已经把我和他比下去。

你们不知道，说人家坏话，是瞒不过人家的吗？

始终，到最后，还是会有人知道。

我不是怪你们不在乎我的感受，或说你们根本不把我放在眼里。

但是，为什么你们却那么在乎他呢？

处处为他制造机会，处处为他说好话？

不是我妒忌，事先声明我不是妒忌，而是我们都是朋友。

为什么有不同的待遇？

我接近她，你们提醒她不要那么靠近我，说我会影响她什么的。

当他向她表白的时候，人人都是支持的。

连我也要做戏，做到好像我也支持他一样。

那有没有人想过我应该怎样面对。

还有你，别说没人这样做。

你，就是你。

不要看到这篇过后又要我删除。

你要生气我也好，要打我也好，要和我断绝一切关系也好，我想声明，我是不会删除的。

你要我让他们知道我有多痛苦。

好，我就让他们知道我有多痛苦。

我已经受够了。

我已经累了。

我累的不是因为我需要带着面具面对他们，而是我在面具后面流泪流到很辛苦。

我累的是，你明明知道我有多苦，多累，你都没有要为我站出来。

就算我我哭着告诉你我的辛酸，你也只会在我面前，哭着告诉我对不起。

那又何必呢？

我就是爱她，可以吗？

难道就不能给我一个爱人的机会？

或许看了这篇后你们很想我在她身边消失，不要再影响她。

那你们可以告诉我，我会立刻消失。

TO：你

如果你真的受不了我了，那我会消失。

我做到的。

之前不是我做不到，而是你不让我做。

这次我那么绝，我心里有数会发生什么事。

我知道你将会承受你不能承受的压力。

但是我真的要倒了。

我真的不能了。

对不起。

是我不好。

说过不伤害你。

但是，你，和你们，真的伤得我太深了。

你，和你们，真的欺人太甚了。

你，和你们，真的不知道你们到底插了几只刀在我的心口。

你，和你们，是我心爱的人，是我的好朋友们。

我，和我的心，真的不能生存在你，和你们当中了。

September Trip, one last notification

Hotel : Flamingo by the beach

Room Rate : two-bedroom suite per night RM300 (Will be equally divided among whoever is going)

Transport : AirAsia RM 106(without luggage check in) RM126(with luggage check in)

If you don't wanna check in your luggage, then just bring a hand carry bag

Land transport : will confirm later

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This will be the last time I'm begging you all to reply to my messages and give me an answer.

Thank you.

September Class Trip

Dear college mates,

Me planning a trip to Penang this coming September, which is our holiday.

I will be booking for 13th, 14th, 15th September. (Since our Crazie Ken is going to Singapore with his family.)

Reason for going to Penang:

-Good food, this is a eat-eat-eat tour

-Nice beach, got lots of beach activitives. For example : banana boat

-I got good rates on hotel there, so we can stay quite cheap cheap there

Please, consult me for further details.

People invited are :

Adam Karma Deshe Gedun (Adam Yong Kok Leong)

Dailou Chan (Chan Yong Hong)

Charcoal Chek (Chek Chien Ping)

Desmond Cheong

Crazie Ken (Ee Wil Ken)

Lemon Chia (Chia Wei Hoong)

Joanne Wong (Jonathan Wong Kit Weng)

Jonathan Lam Kin Weng

Louis 山木陽本 (Louis Loo Woei Lung)

Joseph Williams (Patrick Joseph Williams)

Christy Yap

Low Carmen

LavinPeggy LavinPeggy (Gan Peck Yee)

Stephanie Chee Mei Cheng

Jeannie Ng Shwu Eng

Christine Wong Le Chin

Hui Yen (Ong Hui Yann)

Zaaina Rafeeu (Aminath Zaaina Rafeeu)

addicted.

currently I'm very addicted to facebook games like Fashion World, Baking Life, and most of all, Car Town!

Why am I interested in Car Town?

Although it's just a town, but the cars inside are realistic.

And they even mimic the same designs as the original cars!

There's car wash, tuning...... all sorts of stuff.

There is even racing, but your car performance have to be very good!

LOL!

Well, I'm just talking crap here.

My main point is,

I'm addicted to Car Town like I'm addicted to caffeine!

坏

come to think of it, 你真的对我蛮坏的.

P/S : You love me too

Dear xxx,

I Love You.

P/S : You Love Me Too. =)

Yours Sincerely,

xxxx

Sketch models killing me

Been spending the whole day at home doing the 3 sketch models for tomorrow.

I woke up on at about 11.30am.

After taking lunch it was already 12pm!

used up my time all the way until 4pm to finish up my first one.

Then from 8pm until 10.30pm I finished my 2nd one.

Now the problem started.

I'm stuck with no ideas for my 3rd one.

What should I do?

Just simply crap one for Rosidah?

Should I?

Save me!

Pavillion carpark RM9

Well, it was a short lecture class today by Ms.Curtney, so me and Carmen decided to watch a movie in the afternoon.

Rather than going to 1Utama like we usually do, we went to Pavillion, since I had been craving for Snowflakes all night yesterday night.

LOL.

Well, guess everybody knows, Pavillion's carpark is damn expensive, not to say ridiculous.

in the end we stayed in there for like....... 3 hours plus, the carpark was like RM9.

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

Sumore it doesnt take in RM50 notes, then we had to go to the supermarket and get some salad because both of us only have 50ringgit notes in our pocket.

Talking about the movie, we went for The Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Quite a nice show (still not as good as Inception, Teeeeheeeeee)

Magicians everywhere, but abit different from Harry Potter movies.

But the cinema was damn damn damn empty!

few little people everywhere.

LOL.

Then was finally my Snowflakes.

SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES SNOWFLAKES!

aeroplane where?

All of us has to go "飞机头" one day.

Direct translation from chinese : Aeroplane Head

Couple of months ago, when my gay lou brather Ethan went for 飞机头,

I was thinking to myself :"I need to be insane to go for that hairstyle!"

since I have a very broad and fat face.

This hairstyle will surely make me look fat, I thought.

And as you can see, my brather's 飞机头, with that "gammm mou".

After this couple of months, I finally went insane.

it's 2.09 am

it's 2.09am at night.

And all I can think of is ... ......

How can something or someone fill my mind like that?

I'm curious at myself too.

The feeling I'm currently engaging in is : Happy. =)

are you satisfied?

Be satisfied with what you have young man.

It's not like there are no other options out there.

Don't be messing with people's then.

Get a life.

Rather than messing with people's.

Can't you just mind your own business?

Depressed + Insomnia = Depressia

Current state : Insomnia.

Reason of Current state : Brain filled with shadows of a single human.

Feeling quite depressed at this current moment.

All I wanna do is hear you out there.

Can't you just do me a little favor?

Seems like, I'm not as important to you as I thought I am.

People think I'm always good at roads.

But in reality, I'm lost in my own world.

How pathetic.

My Latest

It's been a long time since I updated my blog and flood my blog with pictures at the same time.

The last I post a picture I guess it was also a few months back.

So here I am.

Bored with nothing to do.

(Since we are all so free now. =x )

With my newest collections of photos I have taken within this few months.

It's time for them to get some air, rather than staying in my computer or memory card.